My Bucket List

I was recently chatting with an old friend about this reunion camping trip we're planning. And as with old friends, you find yourselves going off on tangents and talking about unrelated topics with little transition between them.

I recently bought a map of California and have been looking at it all week. So, when we started chatting about camping, I had to tell him about my idea: to see all state parks in California and then all National Parks.

Turns out, that same idea is on his bucket list. And since we're friends, I don't think he'll mind if I copy the idea.

Now, my bucket list has never been precise or carved in stone, it's more vague and most often forgotten. When I think about it, there are so many things I have added to my bucket list, all in the form of a mental post-it note stored in a filing cabinet of my brain titled "Remember, you want to do this". Sounds like a terrible system, doesn't it? If that filing cabinet were to open, post-it notes would pop out like those fake snakes from a can.

High time for some spring cleaning.

Let's make piles for the different post-it notes. First let's see what I have already checked off:
-Live in another country (France, 2013-2014)
-learn three languages
-US festivals: Not So Silent Night (2007), CMJ (2011), Sasquatch (2012), Hardly Strictly Bluegrass (2014), Treasure Island (2014),
-International festivals: Dour (Belgium, 2014), Lyon Gypsy (France, 2013),
-Continents/Regions: North America (USA, Canada), Latin America (Mexico), Europe (Scotland, Germany, Norway, Spain, Switzerland, France),
-California State Parks: Big Sur,
-National Parks: Haleakala (Hawaii, 2000),

Next pile would have to be what I haven't checked off:
-Burning Man
-learn another three languages
-ComiCon
-Maintain a year-round garden
-See all California State and National parks
-See every continent and region
-US festivals: SXSW, Outside Lands, New Orleans Jazz, ...
International festivals: Boom, Tomorrowland, ...

The last pile is something of a back-burner collection, the most common items on a bucket list and the least likely to happen:
-skydive
-go to space
-drive a Tesla
- ...

This cleaned up bucket list will double as my New Year's Resolutions each year, an easy merger of the two.

Negative Points

Well this is awkward. How long have I been absent from One Part Funny One Part Nerd? I have definitely lost points for my absence. And that's fine, I deserve it. These fake points I assign myself and to others, based on nothing else but the funny, cool, and nerd factor systems (which are also arbitrary and change depending on the now) are just there to make life a little more interesting, like a game (with no extra lives).

Clearly I lost points because of the funny factor because I haven't written anything funny nor is it funny that I haven't written.

On the nerd factor, I lost points for the same reasons as funny, I simply haven't written or done anything worthy of nerd points.

And let's just face it, my cool factor has never seen levels even close to Grandma-bridge-club cool. 

I do have an excuse for my absence, like a note from a doctor or parent excusing you from PE. Now, I don't really care if you don't think it's an acceptable excuse, this is my blog and not yours.

I have been busy sending my resume here and there, doing phone and Skype calls with this number and that screen name, and going on interviews over here and over there. I have been running around like a chicken with a diploma and no head, your 20-something standard. A chicken in slacks, a blouse, and a shoulder-padded power jacket: something stoner-college-chicken-me does not recognize. That chicken inside my head (which, by the way, I don't have) is laughing at me when the sweat starts leaking out of my body as the interviewer simply asks for me to take a seat. And that chicken is roaring with laughter as the sweat waterfalls down my spine with each question. As the interview ends, power-jacket-chicken-me as no idea how it went, well or hell. Is the joke on me? It must be: a chicken in heels? That's funny. 

Who knew you could lose at your own game based on your own distribution system with fake points which only you assign? And it's not like I have forgotten my blog, I guess this thing called life keeps getting in the way. I have drafts on drafts, ideas on ideas, for the blog. So if we count theoretical points, I'm in the lead. I'm the queen of fake points.

Currently on, If you ask me what's up and I responded honestly, I'd show you this,

This is directed to the nerd alert secret society. Brother and Sister, have you heard the news? Have you heard the insanity? Please join me. One, two, three, ..., aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! What!? deep breath ... what!!!????? aaaaahhhh! heavy breathing ... sweeeeeeet.


Legend of Korra | Book 4: Balance Official Trailer | Nick

Try and imagine series from WRIT 2-48, Winter '09: Chicago

Try and imagine sitting in a restaurant: the dim lighting, the boiling pots of fondue, and the numerous pointy forks around you. You think to yourself that this would be the perfect restaurant for a date, but the sight of your mother makes it clear that this is anything but a date. You realize, before the cheese fondue is done, that it is more like an interrogation.

You’ve finished visiting colleges in Chicago and your mother thinks it would be a good idea to eat dinner with her old college friend. Your mother calls her friend and carries the conversation as if you weren’t in the hotel room. You stand open-mouthed at some of the comments she makes; she waves her hand as if to dismiss you, all the while giving you that look of Don’t-be-such-a-child mixed with ­I-do-this-because-I-love-you.

So here you sit, across from your mother and her college friend, in between the friend’s two sons. The two are good-looking. Again you think to yourself, perfect restaurant for a date ... if only. One son, the one to your right, is two years younger than you, but the one to your left is your age. We share looks of understanding as our two mothers bombard us with questions of grades, college applications, and the future. You proceed, before the chocolate fondue, to have reality crush the stupid spark in your mind. The subject of relationships comes to the table. The results are as follows: no girlfriend for the younger one, one girlfriend for the other (the one who created that pitiful spark), and of course no boyfriend for you. You figure that the evening has been soaked in embarrassment, so why not continue? You follow up with a joke (which inadvertently answers the question why you don’t have a boyfriend).

 An atom walks into a bar. He sits down at the counter, obviously sad. The bartender asks him what is wrong. The atom replies, “I’ve lost all my electrons.” The bartender responds, “Are you sure?” The atom answers back, “I’m positive.”

My name is Jacqueline and I'm a fangirl.

I collect fandoms like an old lady collects cats.

I just joined another one this week. In the past year, I have joined more fandoms than the narrator from Fight Club joined support groups. This most recent one is Torchwood. This past year has included Dollhouse, Supernatural, Arrow, and all the Marvel movies. I also found the time to revisit Sherlock, 30 Rock, Firefly, Psych, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and stay up to date on The Legend of Korra, Game of Thrones, and Breaking Bad. And that is just this past year.

Personally, the best fandoms are the ones you discover all on your own. No friends ranting and raving about this new show you just have to watch, no one on your social media feed crying about the season finale, no press. Good ol' fashioned, "Oh hey, that sounds interesting, I'll watch the pilot..." and before you know it, it's 3am and you're telling yourself, "Well, I only have two episodes left in the season, might as well not leave them for tomorrow."

The best fandoms are the ones you can binge-watch. When your binge-watching ends with the show and you don't have to suffer like Dean did in hell until the next episode. When "Previously on ... " drives you crazy because you've just spent the last six hours watching Walter White be a bad-ass and don't need a reminder. When you don't skip the intro to Game of Thrones or Dexter because they are too damn good to not watch.

The best fandoms are the ones you can re-binge-watch. Once you've binged on a show, you become that friend. We all know that weirdo: the one who tries to bring up their fandom as often as Kaylee says "shiny", the one who would rather be at home watching Echo bring down the dollhouse than meet new people.
And one of the greatest pleasures of being that weirdo is the possibility of recruiting someone to the fandom. Now you can re-binge without judgment. And when you re-binge, you can find those pineapples you missed the first time.

The best fandoms are the ones that leave you in a sort of withdrawal state. When you find yourself hitting replay on the series finale because your brain can't handle how epic that Agni Kai between Zuko and Azula was. When you search the internets for fan art, fanfiction, jokes, GIFs, shipping theories, air-dates, any news whatsoever.

Binge-watching is a serious matter though. Check out this PSA if you are unaware of the dangers. It is not for the weak.
http://insidetv.ew.com/2014/08/14/binge-watching-tv-psa/

You know you're an experienced binge-watcher when you have binge-watching pants. I do. Very much like PJs, they are pants you change into because you feel you should change out of your PJs but you know you have no reason or need to socialize today. These pants can be worn outside, in case you have to take out the trash or get the mail, and if you are brave enough, walk to the local 7-11 for a snack run. Binge pants are very much like airport pants: comfy, preferably with pockets, and they go great with Sanuks.

When you think "You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right?" is the best pick up line ever, you're a Psych-o. Thank you Burton Guster.

TL:DR:: "Every time I join a new fandom, I fell like I'm ripping my soul into another horcrux."

qwerty versus azerty

Alas, this blog and its posts are simple musings and rants, a sort of laugh-at-me-or-with-me kind of tale.

However, I'm a mediocre story teller. (Lucky for me, you didn't have to see me use google to abc-spelling check the word "mediocre".) You have been forewarned!

The first post is ... I'm sure there's an adjective in the dictionary, be it Webster's or Oxford or Urban, that could describe these awkward, ugly, confused, and mentally-constipated faces I'm making at the screen as I try to write.

I'm sure an English teacher at some point told me to always stick to the basics, then again, I could be bullshitting. How very Schrödinger's cat. (And you bet your ass I googled that. More for the umlaut than anything else really, since my qwerty keyboard lacks any character. (lol. a dad joke.)

qwerty definitely got the short end of the stick when it came to keyboard design. qwerty has the dollar sign $, the at sign @, the ampersand & (which is just a fancy way of saying and sign), oh! and let's not forget the tilde ~.

But I mean, come on! azerty has got all that QND (lol again.):
~these math guys: the one degree ¹, the square ², the temperature symbol °, the section sign §, the eighths ⅛ , ⅜ , ⅝ , and ⅞, the negation ¬ (a favorite of mine. for your semantic linguists, your philosophers, your coders and programmers), the classic operations ×, ÷, and remember this guy from high school science? ±,
~these money guys: the euro €, the yen ¥, the pound £, and the cent ¢ ,
~these old and current dudes: Mu µ (no, not the pokémon, the 12th Greek letter), Omega Ω (the 24th Greek letter), Thorn þ (from Old English now found in modern Icelandic), this vowel and letter found in Scandinavian languages ø, and the German letter Eszett ß (in English, sharp s), and probably the funnest thing about high school Spanish ¡ and ¿,
~not to mention these dudes (é, ç, à, ù, è), and sounds with the little hat (you know, a circumflex: â, ô, û, î, ê, ŷ, ŵ, ẑ, ĉ, ĝ, ŝ, ĵ), with the umlaut (ë, ä, ï, ö, ÿ, ẅ, ü), and with any diacritic (å, ā, ă, ǎ, ȧ, ą),
~and let's not forget the ones I found just by pressing alt+shift+any key: ™, ¤, ¶ (a nod to that English teacher I mentioned earlier), and ©.

But enough fun. I was going to stick to the basics, wasn't I?
Let's see,
I'm a linguist, a recycler, a music enthusiast and festival junkie, a tacky fashion expert, a rambler, a fangirl, a hooper, a laugher, not a dancer but that doesn't stop me, and a volunteer guinea pig for any home cooked meal.
I'm one part funny and one part nerd.